Playdate Gone Bad

On Wednesday we had the best worst play-date ever.

My darling friend Laura needed to go into the city on a date with her husband, so I told her to just bring her 3 kids here. My kids adore hers and they are really great kids. We could all eat together, then they could fall asleep here & She & Alan could pick them up late that night.

We were all so excited for our big day. I don't let my kids have sleepovers (real ones - we usually just do a late night), but to the kids this was totally a sleep over. They counted down for days before. We figured out where everyone would go to bed and Emily even chose a library book (Wednesday is her library day at school) to read to the kids that night.

Laura & Alan get a fun date together + fun for all of us = recipe for a perfect night.

Well, it started out well. We all ate dinner & the kids were laughing and having fun and we had Tim Tams for dessert (I have addicted her kids to those yummy Australian favs of mine.) After dinner I took Jane, Abby & Andrew to the bathtub and told the 3 bigger kids to go play while I got the little guys ready. Jake wanted to play video games, but our x-box is broken. It had been a day of perfect weather, so I suggested they go out and jump on the trampoline until it was their turn for a bath.

I had just finished filling up the tub & putting in the 3 younger one's when I heard the other kids come in and Connor crying. Hard. I went down to see what had happened and instantly told Emily to run and get our neighbor, Elaine. I wasn't sure if his arm was dislocated or broken - but it was more than hyper-extended. I looked closely and could see the ridge of the distal end of his humerus pushing up through the skin. I figured 95% broken - maybe still a chance it was just dislocated. Seriously, I've never seen a joint look like that. Either way we needed to go to the ER right away.

I sat him on my lap and cradled his arm on top of mine to immobilize the bones in a way that seemed to hurt the least. It was almost 7, so I was hoping Rick was on his way home. I called him and he was already on the train. Elaine arrived by then and I asked her to go watch the kids in the tub and stay with them all until Rick got back. Then I called Laura and told her Connor had broken his arm and to meet me at the hospital. I had to say it a couple of times. I think it didn't quite sink in the 1st time. (Not exactly the call she was expecting.)

I pulled out my keys (still holding Connor) to go and realized there was no way I could drive him to the hospital and keep his arm immobile at the same time. So, we called 911. Actually, I called them 3 times. Since my cell was already in my hand I used that but as soon as they answered, it dropped the call. That happened a second time - then Elaine ran for the house phone for me. I told them I was watching my friends 6yr old son, he had fallen off the trampoline and broken his arm and I needed an ambulance.

I have no worries that I can always get help in my town. Rick says "When you call the Fire Department here - they send the Fire Department!" They sent 2 police cars, 2 fire engines an ambulance and a paramedic van. Really, of all the men milling around in our living room, only 1 was helpful - an EMT who did a great job. He put a line in Connor (unfortunately took 2 attempts) and gave him some morphine. Then, they tried to figure out how to move him. The break was right at his elbow, so any typical splint would hurt more to put on. I suggested they just move us both and keep using my arm as the splint, since that seemed to be working (there was no way I was going to let them take him without me anyway!) They agreed, and I figured they'd just sit me in the back of the ambulance holding him. Nope, they lifted us up, put us both on the gurney and strapped us down. Quite the spectacle!

Once we were in the ambulance the morphine kicked in and Connor calmed down and got very sleepy. It was a relief, the poor little guy hadn't wanted to go in the ambulance until his Mom got there - it took a lot of talking to get him happy with the idea of her meeting him there. I also knew that Laura would be beside herself wanting to get to him, (they were in traffic heading home) and knowing how upset he was (she had talked to him on the phone while they placed the IV.) I talked to the EMT as we drove & thought of asking him to take a picture of us in the ambulance - but decided against it. I didn't want to seem weird or like I didn't care about Connor's situation.


Other than the morphine for the ride, the other huge advantage of being brought in by ambulance was that we were taken right back to the ER and seen straight away. Fortunately, I know Connor's birth-date and address, most of his medical history and his approximate weight and height (I guessed and just did a little less than Jacob's.) From now on, I'm asking for drug allergies for any kids staying at my house! After their initial exam they took us back to x-ray. I was still holding Connor's arm in exactly the same position (it had been about an hour) but had to get out from under him and put his arm down for them to x-ray it. He had been doing well until then - but I know moving it made it hurt more. He was really doing great at being brave and letting us know which position hurt the least. Laura texted me to get a picture of him if I could. I knew then that she wasn't mad at me that it had happened at our house and wished I had asked the EMT for that picture after all ....

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Just as we were finishing the x-rays Laura & Alan arrived.We waited back in his room in the ER until the Dr. came in with the news. The break was bad - several places, including his wrist (I hadn't even suspected the wrist!) He would require surgery. They were going to have to transfer him to a pediatric hospital, where a peds ortho surgeon could set the bones. Poor Connor. We stayed until they were ready to head out to the ambulance with him and then went home (about 10pm). Connor didn't get into surgery until 8am the next morning, and was in the hospital until later that evening. He had 3 pins put in his arm, and will need x-rays as he heels to make sure it's still OK - but should make a full recovery. Thanks goodness.

Abby and Andrew stayed the night and most of the next day with us. Abby woke up in the night & woke up Andrew. They just crawled into bed with me (Jane was already there.) With THREE kids in the bed, Rick left & headed to the spare mattress!  I thought they'd be upset to wake up still at our house when they were supposed to have gone home - but they were completely fine. When we were getting dressed and making beds Andrew was jumping on the spare, then he climbed on the table when we had a snack. It was killing me - I kept saying "Andrew stay still, I cannot call your mother and tell her about another injury!" We went to their place to get clothes for them (I have a key) and take out Bristol (the puppy) and then just hung out and played until it was time to go to story time at the library. Later in the day Alan came to get them and take them to see Connor.

The whole family was re-united that night, but Connor was still pretty uncomfortable for a few days after & ended up missing a week of school altogether.

So, we bought the safest trampoline we could find and it's dug into the ground on the side the kids get in & out, so it's only about 2 feet up. We have all parents sign a release form before their kids can jump (mostly to be sure we have their permission for their kids to be jumping.) We have rules about the number of kids who can jump at once (4), and no mixing of big + little kids while jumping. There's no fighting or rough play allowed and nothing else is allowed to be taken into the net area (sticks, lightsabers, food, etc). I thought we'd done everything to prevent accidents.

The next day we figured out what had happened. Emily, Jacob & Connor had been playing on the tramp. Emily had her eyes closed trying to find them. Connor and Jacob thought they could trick her and get out. Connor got out of the net first and Jacob followed. Emily (still inside the net with her eyes closed) was feeling around for them. She bumped into / tried to grab Jacob (not realizing he was outside the net), who bumped into Conner. Connor was already crouching down ready to jump off. Being bumped by Jake pitched him forwards (off balance) and he just landed on his arm in a way that it caused so much damage. So now we have a new rule. When anyone is getting on or off the trampoline they need to yell "STOP, I'm getting on / off." Everyone has to stop jumping while they get on or off - then play can resume.

Here's what I've decided. Of course I'm devastated that Connor got hurt - and more so because it was at our house while I was being responsible for him. Yet, I don't really feel guilty so much, because I don't think I was being negligent. We will keep the tramp (with the new rule) and hope that no one else gets hurt. Jane broke her arm jumping from our coffee table to the couch. Kids sometimes get hurt and as adults we do everything in our power to prevent that and keep them safe and teach them to be safe - but even with all of that accidents happen. It's why they call them accidents. Of course, this attitude has been greatly helped by the fact that Laura and Alan did not blame me at all. Laura knows I love her kids and would never intentionally let harm come to them. They've come over to play since, and I hope (when he's all healed) that Connor and Jacob will have many more happy play dates where they jump on the trampoline.

Our whole family is lucky to have such good friends.