Perspective

So, I've been feeling pretty close to overwhelmed lately. I'm busy - I don't think it's having child #4, or the fact that 3 & 4 are 19 months apart, or the teenage issues we're dealing with, or a husband who's gone 70+ hours a week, or a busy time of year - it's a combo of all of them! I know I should be handling it better, but I'm just not! I usually hold it together, until something else happens to complicate things.

The past 2 weeks the complication has been sick kids. Particularly, my little Jane. She's not too bad during the day (as long as I am holding her), but the nights are miserable. She gets that post-nasal drip, and coughs & coughs until she throws up. She can't breathe, and can't nurse. We spend at least some of every night in the bathroom, with the shower steaming the room up, while I clap on her back. I'm tired, I'm sure she is too.

I was just trying to ride it out, but thought I should take Jane in to the Dr. I came home from the Dr, Monday evening, and pulled into the driveway. Rebekah had been home sick that day (same cold), and I saw her friend in the doorway dropping off her homework. Jane had fallen asleep in the car, so I turned off the ingition (left the lights on) and ran to offer her friend a ride home (it's cold here.) I was out of the car 3-4 minutes and when I went to start it, the battery was dead. We had an issue with the battery in September, and again 8 days ago. I was mad and frustrated that it was dead, but not all that surprised. Since our driveway is somewhat steep, and narrow, and I pull the car in hood / bonnet 1st, there's no way to get a jump.

I left it for the night, figuring we'd miss Jacobs singing group in the morning and deal with it then. This morning the kids were even slower than usual eating breakfast, and getting ready. I was wearing Rick's pj's (since I hadn't finished the laundry) and knew I wasn't going to make it into the shower before Emy left - let alone do the dishes and all be ready! I figured I could at least get the kids all dressed and make the beds. With the girls ready, I was just dressing Jacob when I heard a repeated beeping sound. It sounded like a smoke alarm. Our kitchen smoke alarm is very sensitive, and I figured it had probably gone off with the steam from the radiators - but I should check. I took the 3 kids and went to our front door. I left Emy & Jacob there & as I walked to the kitchen, I could tell it wasn't that smoke alarm - but the one in the basement. It was making that shrill beep and "saying" FIRE FIRE FIRE." At the same time, I saw the smoke. White-gray and billowing up the stairs. I ran to the front door, had Emily take Jacobs hand, and with bare feet, and without coats said "Emily, take Jacob and run to Sara's house - Now." I carried the baby with me and ventured to the basement to see what was happening. I opened the furnace doors (in retrospect, I probably shouldn't have done that), and more smoke poured out. There were no flames, but a terrible smell, a clicking/buzzing noise and lots of smoke. I spent several panicked minutes trying to remember where the switch was to shut it down, flipped it, turned off the thermostats, and opened a bunch of windows and the back door. Then grabbed coats, hats and Emy's backpack and headed to Sara's to get the kids. Sara put Emily on the bus.

I came home. The smoke had stopped, so I didn't call 911. Jane was crying, hungry & tired. The house was already really cold from everything being open (and 26 degrees outside). I sat with the kids in our coats, and started to nurse Jane to sleep. I looked at the dead car (with the hood up) in the driveway, at the smoke filled living room, at my pj clad body and tried to think of what to do next. I contemplated a day in a smoky, freezing house with a 2 year old & sick baby. I called Rick and told him, I had officially reached OVERWHELMED and he needed to come home and help. He said "I just got here." Not really the response I was looking for, but he did spring into action.

He called a service company & sent them to the house to jump the car. I took a shower & was ready when they came (we left it running until I was ready to go.) Rick had called Honda and told them I was coming. Our plummer is notoriously unreachable, so Rick then used all 3 of his work/desk phone lines to call the plummer - tying them up and MAKING them answer him. He gave them my cell # and told them to call me when I got back from the car repair to come and see what had happened. I had called Laura, and she agreed to take Jacob to singing time. Erin said she could take Jacob afterwards.

We waited 2 hours, but they did decide we had a dud battery. Batteries are warranted for 2 years. We bought that car on Dec 4th, 2004. It was Dec 5th! I think the guy could tell I was about to have a meltdown right there, so said they wouldn't worry about the 1 day and would cover it.

They fixed the car, I picked up Jacob, Erin had given him lunch, and I took him home for a nap. Then I started calling the plummer too. I remembered our contractor had his cell #, so got that and then got through to him. He came to look at the boiler. Three components had burned out. He's not sure why, but will replace them tomrorrow. The smoke had cleared, so I closed the windows (It had been 5 hours with them open, and the house was freezing.) I turned on the fireplace on our main level, the the electric heater upstairs to start to warm the place up.

Ashley dropped by to bring us dinner, and invited us up for the kids to play. We played, came home to dinner, bathed the kids and putt them to bed.

I didn't accomplish anything today. My to-do list remains huge. The unfinished laundry from Monday is still all right where I left it. On any other day, I would be mad about this. But here's what I'm thinking -

* I have 4 beautiful children. In the moment I thought they were in danger, keeping them safe was all I could think about (It never even crossed my mind to grab the "vital documents" file I keep ready for just such an occasion, on the way out.)

* I'm glad the car battery died now. A month from now they probably wouldn't have replaced it under the warranty.

* I am so thankful to have such wonderful friends (I have many great friends, but today it was Sara, Laura, Erin and Ashley who saved me.) Everything today would have been harder without their help. They are my family here.

* I'm thankful for a great husband - that when I start to wig-out, Rick remains calm, and tackles one problem at a time. That even though he's committed to his work, and spends a lot of time there - he really loves us and does what he can.

*That the boiler components burned out while I was here to turn it all off, rather than when I was out, or in the middle of the night, where it could have progressed to flames.

So, a day that started out seeming to be my worst in a while taught me some valuable lessons. My sweet family & I are going to bed tonight in a coldish house, and a kind of smelly basement. There's clutter and unfinished laundry all over the place, and I'm feeling really blessed for all of it!