More Aquarium Drama

The little / loner Fire fish died today.

I'm not sure when. We found him when we went to feed them tonight. I took him out & saved him on a piece of toilet paper. Jake wants to bury him. It prompted lots more sadness and tears and Jacob saying he wished we got a freshwater tank because he thinks those fish are not as fragile :(

Poor little dude (my son, not the fish.)

I think he was OK by the time he went to bed. It definitely helped to have him see the fish dead in the water & approve me taking it out and them to examine it dead on the counter.

On a possibly related note - the top rock and some of the sand is very green. I just noticed this today too. I think it is probably not the cause of little "Fire's" death and is being caused by too much sunlight. I'll put towels up in his windows tomorrow to reduce the light until we get blinds. We need to talk to Randy and see what to do to fix it. Are we also supposed to have something rotting still in there? There isn't any salmon left.

We gotta keep on top of this. Aside from the monetary investment that we could lose, our son's little heart will break beyond repair!

Where Have You Been All My Life?

A few years ago my friend Melissa raved to me about the Sargent Steam machine & it's amazing abilities. I was fascinated because I LOVE a good cleaning product. However, it was expensive, so I didn't really give it that much more thought.

Over the past few years the benefits of steam cleaning have become more widely known and several steam cleaners have come on the market. My washer & dryer clean with steam, the dishwasher sanitizes with steam ....

As we were building the new house the comment I most often heard was "How are you going to clean it?" I wondered myself. In our last house we had 1 full bathroom & 2 1/2 baths. Here we have FOUR full bathrooms and FOUR half baths. Also lots of wood floors, marble and other things that are "delicate" to clean. Then I remembered the steam cleaner. I looked into it & did some research and decided it was the answer to keeping up with cleaning the house.

I ordered one and it came 2 days before Christmas. With moving and unpacking I hadn't had a chance to use it but today I watched the instructional DVD and started to use it. I am already totally IN LOVE.

I started by cleaning Rick's grubby slides that we keep by the door to run the dog out or take out garbage and recycling. They had grass satins and dirt all over them and I figured if I did something wrong and melted them they were more dispensable than my wood floors!

Within seconds they looked brand new! I could NOT believe how easy it was and wished I had taken a "before" photo! Then I cleaned the mudroom bathroom, floor and cubbies. WOW did I get a lot of dirt up. It was very easy and efficient and I got lots of bits of "construction" stuff like drops of glue, splatters of paint, spills of caulk, etc off the floor. The part that made me the happiest? Not only was it clean - it was SANITIZED. The steam is 298 degrees, so sanitized instantly. It's like autoclaving your house!  Also, the only "product" I used to clean was water - so no chemicals hurting the earth and no chemicals left for my kids to come into contact with.

I was getting such a kick out of using it I barely wanted to stop cleaning and go get showered so we could meet friends for dinner! Seriously, this and a powerful vacuum is all I'm ever going to need to keep this place clean. I am sure I will use it everyday. Definitely my new favorite toy!

A Tender Moment with Jane

I just have a few rules for Sacrament meeting in church.

(1) No leaving (get your drink & go to the bathroom beforehand!)

(2) If you can read, you sing the hymns.

(3) Quietly coloring is allowed for kids under 12 but only AFTER the Sacrament has been passed.

On #3 - I figure that they can sit quietly and listen to the announcements and start of the meeting for the first 15 minutes or so. It's good practice for when they are older and will need to be reverent for the entire meeting.

I used to take the crayons & notebooks but now Rick is in Primary he has the bag of stuff & has been packing them. Today when we sat down he handed them out right at the start (after 7 years on the High Council in our old stake, sitting with us in Sacrament meeting is new to him!) I reminded the kids "Not until after the Sacrament has been passed." Of course, my strong willed little girl wanted to push the boundary just as much as she possibly could, so started flipping though her book & turning pages.

"Jane" I whispered "if you can't keep that quietly on your lap, I'll have to take it."

"No, I like looking at it." she told me and continued to flip through it. I reached over to take it from her and she held onto it and pulled away. I quietly & firmly told her I was taking it because she couldn't hold it still in her lap. I pulled it out of her hands and put it under my seat. I looked over at her and she had big tears rolling down her face.

Right then they were saying the Sacrament prayer so I pulled her into my lap and cuddled her. As the young men passed the bread I silently prayed to my Father in Heaven to help me with this child he has entrusted me with. She is so strong willed, so stubborn and determined. Some days I am just exhausted navigating her emotions and our battle of the wills. I explained that I worried for her teenage years and the challenges we may face then. I asked for help in meeting her needs and teaching her, for more patience, more energy and more than anything to know what her unique need are.
Oh how I love this girl and want to do what is best for her!

As I sat cradling her and pouring my heart out, asking my Father in Heaven how best to partner with Him in teaching her, the sweetest spirit came over me and the words "STEADFAST AND IMMOVABLE" came to my mind. What an epiphany! I felt comfort and encouragement. Tears welled in my eyes as I realized that this sweet and spunky little girl can be a powerful force for good in the world. She can be a righteous influence amongst her peers. That unwavering will can become steadfast and immovable and serve her well when the ills of the world swirl around her.

It was a sweet, tender moment.

I am so grateful that I know I have the Lord to turn to as I raise these spirits of His. For the access I have to Him through prayer and the comfort and insight it can give me as a mother.

I am going to make sure that this scripture is on her wall, to remind me of that sweet inspiration as I parent her and to let her know that it is special for her.

"Therefore, I would that ye should be steadfast and immovable,
always abounding in good works."
Mosiah 5:15
 

 I had the lovely and talented Apryl Stott (who did Jane's birth announcement) create this for her to hang in her room and remind us of this experience.

 

I am also so truly grateful to my "Janie Baby" and her lively influence in our home.
We really would not be without her for anything!

Family Goal Book

Each year the first Sunday in January we would have a Family Home Evening lesson on goal setting and I would have the kids write down their goals for the year on sheets I had printed out. Then I would put them in a file in the filing cabinet, never to be looked at again. Seriously.

In January 2010 after our goal lesson, I was feeling frustrated. I think our family is awesome at working on the goals we set in the summer, and we're great if there's a specific project or goal we are working towards as a family, but we were doing a terrible job as parents teaching them about ongoing goal setting. All I felt we had taught them to do was set stereotypical "resolutions" the way the world at large does - only to be discarded and forgotten before February!

I thought about how best to keep track of the goals and work on them through the year. My amazing friend Laura had put together a "Conducting Book" for our Primary presidency (the children's organization at church) with monthly sections with the theme and scripture for the month, and places to write in who was giving the talk, etc. What if I made a similar book for our family goals? I thought about how we could maybe add a quote to work on memorizing each month, and a section for each person to record their progress. I decided to give it a shot .... then I promptly forgot about it.

I may not be super on top of things, but I am tenacious! I would remember the book from time to time and that summer I finally put it together. Since most of the year was gone - it was a thin book that year but I am so very glad I still did it because it got us in the habit of reviewing our goals. Also, it gave me the template for the following year and in 2011 I had the book all put together and ready to go by the 2nd week in January (I take it to Staples and have them put a plastic cover on the front and back and spiral bind it.).

We used it all of last year and it worked so well for us, I wanted to post about it and offer to share my template for anyone who would like it.

I start with giving each person in the family printed forms to write in goals in each of 4 areas - spiritual, physical, educational, and personal.

Then I type those up for reference pages at the front of the book.

After that I have sections divided by month. Each month has a card stock cover page with a quote we'd like to memorize. I try to find something to "go" with the month.

~ like love for February (the picture is not great, this card stock is really light pink.)

~ or Thankfulness for November

but most of them are just quotes I really like (I think months have "colors" this one is actually light yellow! Bad pictures, sorry.)

Then for each month I add "blanks" for each person with each of the 4 areas of growth, so we can write in progress. I like to teach my kids that the best way to accomplish a goal is by breaking it down into smaller more manageable parts. This section is perfect for listing smaller "parts" of the larger goal.

Then we write in progress. Last year Jane had listed "learn to ride a bike without training wheels" as one of her physical goals. For January - March we wrote in "defer until spring" for that one, because it was too cold, snowy and icy outside. However, because it was on the master goal list we picked it up when the weather was nice & she was riding by the end of summer.

One child had wanted to try a new sport and chose Lacrosse. It started in March and ran through the end of June. She loved it and decided to pursue it and continued with a fall lacrosse clinic - but each page from June - December we wrote in "completed" because she had finished the goal of trying a new sport. Some of her other goals were to read a set of books, get better at drawing, remember to wear her glasses (she only needs them for close up work.) She also set a goal to try new foods. We decided she should  aim for one new food per month, which we listed on the fill in sheets. I love that this gives us the opportunity to meet with them and discuss their goals and get insight into their lives. After we've recorded their goals, we ask how things are going at school and if there's anything that they would like to talk to us about.

(posted with permission - as long as I didn't put her name.)

We just did our goals for this year. We start with a brief lesson on why goals and personal growth are important, and then I give them examples of what might be some goals for each area - like explaining that a physical goal is something that helps your physical body, etc.

Then, I really let them write their own goals! How much am I going to love to look at this when he is an adult and remember that seven year old Jacob set goals to stop farting, run 1 mile and shoot ten baskets. Awesome!

 (posted with permission.)

 

Maybe this is way too involved  for someone who could just tack a piece of paper to the fridge or in their kids rooms and remember to work on it, but for me I need lists! I need a schedule of when we do things and accountability - or I just forget them. Rick and I meet with each of the kids individually each fast Sunday (the first Sunday of each month) to go over the past month progress and plan what they will do for the next month. For our family, it worked like a charm and we're definitely continuing this.