New York's Newest Driver

About a month ago Rebekah and I went to take her road test for her drivers license. It ended up being a fiasco (name issues) and we left with Bek in tears, having not taken the test and me being frustrated that I'd paid a babysitter all morning for the little guys and sat in a line for nothing.

Today was round 2 and I was all set and sure nothing would go wrong. Jacob & Jane have gymnastics on Tuesday mornings, and I had planned to have just enough time afterwards to head to the bike shop to pick up Jake's new bike (which would be ready today), drop off dry cleaning and grab the kids some lunch before getting Rebekah at 1pm. We would then let her practice parallel parking for 30 minutes, drop off Jacob & Jane at a friends and head to her 2pm appointment.

We left gymnastics and I stopped for gas feeling pleased that I had everything ready for the car. I mentally checked off my list - full gas tank, check. No mechanical problems with car, check. Insurance and registration, ch---- WAIT A MINUTE!

We are upgrading the Pilot and purchasing a small second car. While at the Honda dealer on Saturday Rick had got the registration out of the car as part of their assessment of our current car for trade in value. Was it back in there? I looked and it wasn't. Instead of getting the bike or lunch I raced home to look for the registration card. A few frantic calls to Rick, Honda and turning the office upside down proved my worst fear - it was lost. I called the Auto School to check if we really needed it or if they could just look it up or go by the registration sticker in the window. The school told me I had to have it. More calls to Rick (the word "irresponsible" may have been thrown out by me) another call to the Honda dealer - who almost denied ever having seen it, but confessed he did have a copy.

I thought a copy was better than nothing, and we would have to take our chances. We would now need to leave right then to get to the dealer to collect the copy and make her appointment in time. Juliane (my friend who was taking J&J) wasn't home yet, so more frantic calls to several people looking for a place to ditch them (I did stop at the pizza place and grab a couple of slices.) I deposited them on a doorstep with their pizza box (thanks Melanie!) - fortunately across the street from Juliane's, who would be able to take over at the prearranged time.

I texted Rebekah that I was on my way. Then called her. She answered & said she could barely hear me - there had been a fire alarm pulled in the building and they were all outside - she wasn't sure she could leave. ARGHH! I managed to extract her from the fire drill, get over to Honda and pulled up to the testing spot at 1:58pm. Phew.

I say testing "spot" because that's really what it is. I swear, they do things in New York in a way I can never imagine working anywhere else. There is no building, no desk, nothing. There is a sign on a pole by the side of the road. You pull up behind any other cars that are waiting by the sign and the examiners come and get you. They just go down the line getting in & out of the cars & giving the tests. There weren't that many cars, so I was hopeful we wouldn't wait too long. Unfortunately two of the cars were from driving schools and each had 4 people to be tested in them. There were 3 examiners, so after almost an hour they got to us. The guy in front of us was standing beside his car as they approached. I hadn't realized while we were waiting that he was alone. After a brief talk with the examiner he got in his car (clearly mad) and left. I guess he drove himself to his drivers license test, and they sent him on his way (driving home - still without a license!)

Well, all that stress and worrying was for nothing. After checking my drivers license and getting Bek's permit & drivers education certificate, she just used a little hand held device to scan the registration sticker in the window - and they were off. If you know me well you know 2 things (1) I have a thimble sized bladder & (2) I drink copious amounts of fluids. I hurried a few blocks away to a local hospital to find a bathroom & when I returned she was just pulling up.

She looked out of the window and gave me the "two thumbs up" with a big smile. YAY!

I asked the examiner if I could take a picture of them together & she said they weren't allowed to. Bummer. I let Bek drive back to school (she had Cabaret rehearsal). Once we got to school I took a picture of her with her new license (they'll mail the laminated real one later.)

Emily had swim team practice, and her piano lesson and Jacob had T-ball practice. When we all got home, I asked Bek if she would watch the kids once I had them in bed, so I could go pick up Jake's bike I'd never got to. She said "Then can I go for a drive."

I hesitated and replied "Want to go get the bike for me?" So, she did. I took several deep breaths (& called the bike shop after 1/2 an hour to see if she had been there and picked it up.) It's up the parkway and then along a very busy road. She came home with the bike, pleased as punch.

This may work after all.

Muscle Man

I just let the kids play in their pj's on Sunday morning, until right before it's time to leave. Why risk getting food or craft supplies all over their church clothes? Or even just getting my ironing all crumpled?

On Sunday I found Jacob playing like this.

Me: "Jacob, put your shirt on buddy, it's cold."

J: "No. I want people to look in the window and think my shirt got ripped off because I have so many muscles."

Me: "Oh, like the Hulk."

J: "Who?"

Turns out he has no idea who the Hulk is.

(But is quite likely an exhibitionist.)

Question of the Day

Rebekah is taking the SAT's soon (she's already taken the PSAT - the practice one - twice.) When you register for the SAT you can choose an option of having a "question of the day" e-mailed to you. As a parent, you can also have them e-mailed to your inbox.

I decided I would do it, so I would be reminded of them and follow up on Rebekah's preparation. It has been quite the ego booster. I am delighted to announce that I am acing them! I realize, that at my age and education level, I should expect nothing less. However, it also gives a small pie chart in the corner that reports the percentage of correct responses. America, we're in trouble. There are some very basic language questions that a lot of people are getting wrong.

College Board, may I suggest we have high school students sign up for this as freshmen (9th grade) and have 3 + years of practicing these before they actually take it? Maybe even get middle school students to try them out. Not only would we likely see an increase in SAT scores, but we would have a nation of well spoken citizens, and that has to be a good thing.

In the Eye of the Beholder

I will probably reach a day when I am no longer presented with stubby-stemmed bouquets of dandelions or find them tucked into a vase with more "desirable" flowers.

I will miss the small hands that gathered them and the proud "for you" that accompanied them.

The sweet love that brings those yellow bundles to me, with ensure a soft spot in my heart forever.

Playdate Gone Bad

On Wednesday we had the best worst play-date ever.

My darling friend Laura needed to go into the city on a date with her husband, so I told her to just bring her 3 kids here. My kids adore hers and they are really great kids. We could all eat together, then they could fall asleep here & She & Alan could pick them up late that night.

We were all so excited for our big day. I don't let my kids have sleepovers (real ones - we usually just do a late night), but to the kids this was totally a sleep over. They counted down for days before. We figured out where everyone would go to bed and Emily even chose a library book (Wednesday is her library day at school) to read to the kids that night.

Laura & Alan get a fun date together + fun for all of us = recipe for a perfect night.

Well, it started out well. We all ate dinner & the kids were laughing and having fun and we had Tim Tams for dessert (I have addicted her kids to those yummy Australian favs of mine.) After dinner I took Jane, Abby & Andrew to the bathtub and told the 3 bigger kids to go play while I got the little guys ready. Jake wanted to play video games, but our x-box is broken. It had been a day of perfect weather, so I suggested they go out and jump on the trampoline until it was their turn for a bath.

I had just finished filling up the tub & putting in the 3 younger one's when I heard the other kids come in and Connor crying. Hard. I went down to see what had happened and instantly told Emily to run and get our neighbor, Elaine. I wasn't sure if his arm was dislocated or broken - but it was more than hyper-extended. I looked closely and could see the ridge of the distal end of his humerus pushing up through the skin. I figured 95% broken - maybe still a chance it was just dislocated. Seriously, I've never seen a joint look like that. Either way we needed to go to the ER right away.

I sat him on my lap and cradled his arm on top of mine to immobilize the bones in a way that seemed to hurt the least. It was almost 7, so I was hoping Rick was on his way home. I called him and he was already on the train. Elaine arrived by then and I asked her to go watch the kids in the tub and stay with them all until Rick got back. Then I called Laura and told her Connor had broken his arm and to meet me at the hospital. I had to say it a couple of times. I think it didn't quite sink in the 1st time. (Not exactly the call she was expecting.)

I pulled out my keys (still holding Connor) to go and realized there was no way I could drive him to the hospital and keep his arm immobile at the same time. So, we called 911. Actually, I called them 3 times. Since my cell was already in my hand I used that but as soon as they answered, it dropped the call. That happened a second time - then Elaine ran for the house phone for me. I told them I was watching my friends 6yr old son, he had fallen off the trampoline and broken his arm and I needed an ambulance.

I have no worries that I can always get help in my town. Rick says "When you call the Fire Department here - they send the Fire Department!" They sent 2 police cars, 2 fire engines an ambulance and a paramedic van. Really, of all the men milling around in our living room, only 1 was helpful - an EMT who did a great job. He put a line in Connor (unfortunately took 2 attempts) and gave him some morphine. Then, they tried to figure out how to move him. The break was right at his elbow, so any typical splint would hurt more to put on. I suggested they just move us both and keep using my arm as the splint, since that seemed to be working (there was no way I was going to let them take him without me anyway!) They agreed, and I figured they'd just sit me in the back of the ambulance holding him. Nope, they lifted us up, put us both on the gurney and strapped us down. Quite the spectacle!

Once we were in the ambulance the morphine kicked in and Connor calmed down and got very sleepy. It was a relief, the poor little guy hadn't wanted to go in the ambulance until his Mom got there - it took a lot of talking to get him happy with the idea of her meeting him there. I also knew that Laura would be beside herself wanting to get to him, (they were in traffic heading home) and knowing how upset he was (she had talked to him on the phone while they placed the IV.) I talked to the EMT as we drove & thought of asking him to take a picture of us in the ambulance - but decided against it. I didn't want to seem weird or like I didn't care about Connor's situation.


Other than the morphine for the ride, the other huge advantage of being brought in by ambulance was that we were taken right back to the ER and seen straight away. Fortunately, I know Connor's birth-date and address, most of his medical history and his approximate weight and height (I guessed and just did a little less than Jacob's.) From now on, I'm asking for drug allergies for any kids staying at my house! After their initial exam they took us back to x-ray. I was still holding Connor's arm in exactly the same position (it had been about an hour) but had to get out from under him and put his arm down for them to x-ray it. He had been doing well until then - but I know moving it made it hurt more. He was really doing great at being brave and letting us know which position hurt the least. Laura texted me to get a picture of him if I could. I knew then that she wasn't mad at me that it had happened at our house and wished I had asked the EMT for that picture after all ....

{iPhone photo}

{iPhone photo}

{iPhone photo}

Just as we were finishing the x-rays Laura & Alan arrived.We waited back in his room in the ER until the Dr. came in with the news. The break was bad - several places, including his wrist (I hadn't even suspected the wrist!) He would require surgery. They were going to have to transfer him to a pediatric hospital, where a peds ortho surgeon could set the bones. Poor Connor. We stayed until they were ready to head out to the ambulance with him and then went home (about 10pm). Connor didn't get into surgery until 8am the next morning, and was in the hospital until later that evening. He had 3 pins put in his arm, and will need x-rays as he heels to make sure it's still OK - but should make a full recovery. Thanks goodness.

Abby and Andrew stayed the night and most of the next day with us. Abby woke up in the night & woke up Andrew. They just crawled into bed with me (Jane was already there.) With THREE kids in the bed, Rick left & headed to the spare mattress!  I thought they'd be upset to wake up still at our house when they were supposed to have gone home - but they were completely fine. When we were getting dressed and making beds Andrew was jumping on the spare, then he climbed on the table when we had a snack. It was killing me - I kept saying "Andrew stay still, I cannot call your mother and tell her about another injury!" We went to their place to get clothes for them (I have a key) and take out Bristol (the puppy) and then just hung out and played until it was time to go to story time at the library. Later in the day Alan came to get them and take them to see Connor.

The whole family was re-united that night, but Connor was still pretty uncomfortable for a few days after & ended up missing a week of school altogether.

So, we bought the safest trampoline we could find and it's dug into the ground on the side the kids get in & out, so it's only about 2 feet up. We have all parents sign a release form before their kids can jump (mostly to be sure we have their permission for their kids to be jumping.) We have rules about the number of kids who can jump at once (4), and no mixing of big + little kids while jumping. There's no fighting or rough play allowed and nothing else is allowed to be taken into the net area (sticks, lightsabers, food, etc). I thought we'd done everything to prevent accidents.

The next day we figured out what had happened. Emily, Jacob & Connor had been playing on the tramp. Emily had her eyes closed trying to find them. Connor and Jacob thought they could trick her and get out. Connor got out of the net first and Jacob followed. Emily (still inside the net with her eyes closed) was feeling around for them. She bumped into / tried to grab Jacob (not realizing he was outside the net), who bumped into Conner. Connor was already crouching down ready to jump off. Being bumped by Jake pitched him forwards (off balance) and he just landed on his arm in a way that it caused so much damage. So now we have a new rule. When anyone is getting on or off the trampoline they need to yell "STOP, I'm getting on / off." Everyone has to stop jumping while they get on or off - then play can resume.

Here's what I've decided. Of course I'm devastated that Connor got hurt - and more so because it was at our house while I was being responsible for him. Yet, I don't really feel guilty so much, because I don't think I was being negligent. We will keep the tramp (with the new rule) and hope that no one else gets hurt. Jane broke her arm jumping from our coffee table to the couch. Kids sometimes get hurt and as adults we do everything in our power to prevent that and keep them safe and teach them to be safe - but even with all of that accidents happen. It's why they call them accidents. Of course, this attitude has been greatly helped by the fact that Laura and Alan did not blame me at all. Laura knows I love her kids and would never intentionally let harm come to them. They've come over to play since, and I hope (when he's all healed) that Connor and Jacob will have many more happy play dates where they jump on the trampoline.

Our whole family is lucky to have such good friends.

To Do

Man I miss the days when I had time to blog. And do crafts. And sleep.

I keep a running to do list on my computer, and it is actually titled "Tania's Never Ending To Do List."The kids tease me about it, but it's the only way I can keep track of all the phone calls, errands, assignments I have to do that day. (Thanks goodness for iCal too!)
I really do have fun pictures of the kids. I really do want to post them, so their grown-up selves will know of their childhood & far away family will see how cute they are. Sigh.

Here's what's keeping me from blogging for the next 48 hours.

FRIDAY

have Emily write poem for teacher appreciation week (due today!)
bek's ortho appointment
Primary e-mails
Primary Q1 report
Primary activity -finish game prep
Register Bek for SAT's
Jacob's Dr. Appointment
kids to pre-school
upload pictures to Costco
return Jane's sandals / exchange for bigger size
cards for April birthdays (I know the month's already 1/2 over!)
e-mail Carmen about her trip & proposed NYC itinerary
call sprinkler guys about backyard
call fence guys about backyard
call Stone Barns & talk to composting expert
swim team practice (Emily)
Grace's birthday party (Jane)
Beks' play (Rick - working concessions)
change Verizon mail settings
order replacement birth certificate for Bek
book Bek's flight to Costa Rica
help Emily with Spain project

SATURDAY

primary activity
opening ceremonies - T-ball (meet coach & get shirt)
buy Jacob new baseball pants
drop zappos return at Staples - buy packing tape
buy new mattress for our bed
plant new plants before they die
turn on sprinkler system
call breeder re: her email & puppy transport questions
change sheets
finish laundry
Beks' play (Alex to babysit)
catch up on ironing
finish sewing girls pajamas
BLOG

Every week I think to myself "This will be a crazy week, but after that it should ease up a little." It never does. Is this just life with 4 busy, active kids (& a husband who works a TON)? I am worried that it's me - that I'm a bad time manager, or inefficient at getting things done - or something.


Well, maybe next week will be quieter & I can catch up on the blog ....

Vegemite!

Jacob & Jane tasted Vegemite.

Jane instantly didn't like it - not that I expected she would.

Jacob ate all of his and said he liked it.

I held out hope that one of my kids would be a "Vegemite kid."

Later he changed his mind & said he doesn't like it after all.

I guess I failed them, by not introducing it earlier in their lives.....

I still love it, even if no one else in my family does.

I think there's nothing better for breakfast than a slice of toast and Vegemite, a grapefruit and glass of OJ.

Together Time

A little over a year ago I went on a quick ski weekend away with some ladies from my ward. It was great fun and I got in LOTS of girl talk. One of my friends, Megan, shared a great idea that she does with her 4 kids & calls "together time." I loved it so much, I immediately implemented it in our household & here's how it works.

* For 1 hour on Sundays (last year in the afternoons, but now do it in the mornings since our church is later in the day), we have "Together Time."

* We switch off who is "together" and put the kids in pairs.

* Mostly, I don't put Jacob & Jane together since they got to be together ALL the time. So Bek & Emily alternate between J&J. Emily needs some time with bek -  so every few weeks I take J&J and help them have some structured playtime while the girls are together.

* The younger child gets to choose what to do.

* As long as it's not a week that J&J are together, I get an hour of time to myself!

Our lives are so busy and the bigger girls really don't get a lot of time with the littler one's - especially Rebekah who is gone by 5:45 each morning and usually returns home around 7pm, just in time for scriptures and then we pop J&J into bed.

This time for them to be together is wonderful, but I believe the fact that the younger one chooses the activity has made it a fantastic bonding opportunity.

I just had this conversation with Jake.

(Getting him out of the bath)

Me; Oh Buddy look - you have an eyelash.

J; Can I wish on it?

Me; Sure!

J; Those wishes don't even come true anyway. I made a wish before & it didn't even happen.

Me; What did you wish for?

J; I wishded for two Rebekah's.

Me; (laughing) Two Rebekah's! Why would you need two Rebekah's?

J; One that was 11 and one that was going to college. Then one could go and the other one could stay home and play with me.

OK, I had to wipe a tear from my eye! He is such a sweet boy and loves Rebekah so much. We try really hard to find things to do as a family that can involve us all and make memories, but I really think the consistency of together time has helped them all bond as siblings.