Here's a cry for help -
I used to be the Family Home Evening Champ. I even once organized a group that met and traded lessons. I have a big drawer filled with completed & ready to prepare lessons - more than enough for a year. Here's my dilemma - we now stink at holding Family Home Evening.
The biggest problem is finding a time when we are all together.
* Traditional Monday nights, or any night for that matter - Rick doesn't get home until after 8pm. J&J go to bed at 7pm, Emily at 8pm. Em can stand to be up a little later - but the last few hours of the day are meltdown city for the little one's, and there's no way I can keep them up.
* Sunday - our church starts at 11:30am THE WORST EVER TIME I'VE EXPERIENCED. I thought we could try and hold it before church, but Rick is gone every other Sunday at 6:45 am for meetings, and usually goes right to another ward where he has a speaking assignment. On weeks he doesn't have meetings, he frequently is gone to conduct business in his assigned ward, or to speak somewhere. Even though I think we'll have lots of time each Sunday morning, the logistics of getting everyone fed, ready for church, and then trying to sneak in a "lunch" before 11am sucks the morning away.
By the time we get home from church, it's time to focus of getting dinner ready, etc. After dinner - same story, tired & cranky kids who need to go to bed.
* Saturday - I briefly considered this, and rejected it. It's the only day we have Rick around. We cram yard work, errands, house projects, soccer, play rehearsals, dance class, family swim, date night, family time and everything else into this one precious day.
So, what I have been doing is holding FHE on Monday night, sans Rick and the little kids. Sometimes Rick makes it home for part of it. I figure, it's better than nothing. Tonight, Rebekah arrived home from play rehearsal in time for the closing song & prayer. Sigh.
That leads me to the second issue - pitching a lesson to both Rebekah and Emily. Obviously a big age difference, and interest level. Most of my lessons are perfect for Em, and beneath Rebekah. I know I could have her prepare the lesson as her learning experience, and I probably will on occasion, but she is already so overloaded with school, seminary, and extra curricular stuff, that I hate to add more to her load. So how do I make it interesting for both of them (in a brief prep time for me - let's be realistic, I'm not going to spend hours preparing each lesson.)
How do you do it?
If you're husband works a lot (70+ hours per week), what are some times that have worked out for your family?
If you have little children that need to go to bed (because they get up at 5:30am), what has worked for your family?
If you have a big age spread in your children, what has worked for your family?
I really want to get back at being good at this, but I need better strategies.
I used to be the Family Home Evening Champ. I even once organized a group that met and traded lessons. I have a big drawer filled with completed & ready to prepare lessons - more than enough for a year. Here's my dilemma - we now stink at holding Family Home Evening.
The biggest problem is finding a time when we are all together.
* Traditional Monday nights, or any night for that matter - Rick doesn't get home until after 8pm. J&J go to bed at 7pm, Emily at 8pm. Em can stand to be up a little later - but the last few hours of the day are meltdown city for the little one's, and there's no way I can keep them up.
* Sunday - our church starts at 11:30am THE WORST EVER TIME I'VE EXPERIENCED. I thought we could try and hold it before church, but Rick is gone every other Sunday at 6:45 am for meetings, and usually goes right to another ward where he has a speaking assignment. On weeks he doesn't have meetings, he frequently is gone to conduct business in his assigned ward, or to speak somewhere. Even though I think we'll have lots of time each Sunday morning, the logistics of getting everyone fed, ready for church, and then trying to sneak in a "lunch" before 11am sucks the morning away.
By the time we get home from church, it's time to focus of getting dinner ready, etc. After dinner - same story, tired & cranky kids who need to go to bed.
* Saturday - I briefly considered this, and rejected it. It's the only day we have Rick around. We cram yard work, errands, house projects, soccer, play rehearsals, dance class, family swim, date night, family time and everything else into this one precious day.
So, what I have been doing is holding FHE on Monday night, sans Rick and the little kids. Sometimes Rick makes it home for part of it. I figure, it's better than nothing. Tonight, Rebekah arrived home from play rehearsal in time for the closing song & prayer. Sigh.
That leads me to the second issue - pitching a lesson to both Rebekah and Emily. Obviously a big age difference, and interest level. Most of my lessons are perfect for Em, and beneath Rebekah. I know I could have her prepare the lesson as her learning experience, and I probably will on occasion, but she is already so overloaded with school, seminary, and extra curricular stuff, that I hate to add more to her load. So how do I make it interesting for both of them (in a brief prep time for me - let's be realistic, I'm not going to spend hours preparing each lesson.)
How do you do it?
If you're husband works a lot (70+ hours per week), what are some times that have worked out for your family?
If you have little children that need to go to bed (because they get up at 5:30am), what has worked for your family?
If you have a big age spread in your children, what has worked for your family?
I really want to get back at being good at this, but I need better strategies.
9 comments:
My parents at one point divided the family up with a lesson for the older kids and a lesson for the younger kids. They fit those lessons in on Sunday between their meetings. Maybe 15-30 minute lessons. Often it was just one parent doing it (my mom, usually, since my dad was at meetings, but he also participated when he could).
Then Monday night was just a fun activity and whoever was there was there.
My mom says sometimes things were really prepared (like an important lesson she felt she needed to teach) but often it was more of a "throw something together as you go".
I think you do what you can, and you get blessings for it. Also, I think if you pray about it ideas will come to mind that will help you figure out how to get it all done.
Alright- end of the novel. Good luck!
I don't really have your situation but I would suggest involving the little ones right away--the routine of it will come handy later. Ours are usually 10 min total but we are doing it each week and I think there is something important in that. Our Stake President usually refers to FHE as "Family Night Fight" which is all too true at our house! Rick will just have to be absent for now and if Rebekah is home she can be crowd control--you can always have other "lessons" for her on Sunday nights or something. Your family time is well spent on Sat so just focus on the Monday night habit for now. Emily is the perfect age to help with the lessons each week, maybe Rebekah won't mind tolerating her simple lessons rather than it coming from you! Keep up the good work, you are an amazing Mom!
First, let it be known, that I am NOT the authority on FHE. Didn't grow up with it and I'm trying hard to make it a priority. So here are my two suggestions ...
1. We've done it during dinner when I have all my little ones buckled in their boosters and can't go anywhere. We call in Daddy at work and talk briefly with him about what we're learning.
2. Get a new job. That's what Charlie did. We'll let you know how that works. =) (I really can't believe he'll be home at 6pm! Can't believe it.)
Good luck Tania. I don't have any suggestions but the ones already posted have been great. FHE with Luke and Annabelle are short and sweet and often too young for the big kids, but it's good for them to see Luke having his turn with a lesson and be patient...
You are great and the best you can do is enough!
Sorry, Tan. I can't help, but I agree with Brooke. Do something fun as a fam on Saturday, and since Rick's not going to be around anyway, why not try doing it in the afternoon, (if it's available, I know you have a full schedule). But don't be too hard on yourself, either.
Its such a hard situation. I know I have thought about the age issue as we will someday have it with M and our kids. Remember the Gospel is simple so you dont need to have anything mind blowing for Rebekah. But maybe try having a lesson that everyone can comprehend and then when all the other kids go to bed, you and Rebekah can have a more indepth discussion about what your lesson was on.
Em and I love ya Tania!! You certainly are a super mum!
Oh....good questions.
Fred is never home on Monday nights either--although usually Lilly refuses to go to sleep until he gets home anyway...
I just read a fun idea on Scribbit--they have taste testing nights. I think that is an activity kids of all ages could enjoy. This week, she said they did vanilla ice cream and it was a hit.
Sometimes we just try to do it when we can.
You could maybe do something for the little guys during the day and then have a more in depth one at night once Rick gets home. I bet Emily would pick up on more than you'd think if you did it more to Rebecca's level.
Good luck! And have fun with your Mum!
Tan, I have certainly not been a whiz at FHE, but my priority has been more on building family relations than having a set lesson. As you mentioned, Rebekah is getting a lot of gospel based stuff with seminary, YW activities and church on Sundays, so I think that you don't neccessarily need to pitch the lesson to her, just have her help organise it and be involved. Also, just do what you can do Tan. We all have busy lives, so I agree that you should do it without Rick and then maybe Rebekah could fill Rick in on what the lesson was about when he gets home. Most of all, ease up on yourself!
President Faust once said that we should only feel guilt for sin, not for things we try to do and sometimes fall short. Struggling to make Family Home Evening work is not a sin so don't feel guilty when you are doing the best you can. Feel glad to have the little ones in your life and take some of the good advice here from your friends. Love you.
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